Round 1: Monty 2

Round 1: Monty 2

The "Ick" Factor

Widower Antonio Monty is ready to test the dating waters. Meanwhile, twins Beatrice and Benedick are on the cusp of teenhood and dealing with their own raging hormones. Let's see how the Montys are doing...

Antonio: I'm sorry you two have to share a room because I couldn't afford a bigger apartment, but Aunt Bianca will be moving in next door.

Beatrice: We love this apartment, Papa!

Benedick: Yeah, we found a rat in our bedroom. Can we keep him?

Me: Ooh, you could call him "Mr. Jingles."

Antonio: Uh-

Me: Since nothing else of note happened, let's fast forward to the twins' birthday. Happy birthday, Beatrice!

Me: Looking sassy.

Me: I love your aspiration and LTW. Let's see about your brother...

Me: Buck up, Benedick. It's your birthday!

Benedick: I have a right to be down. You've been misspelling my name.

Me: What? *checking notes* Dang! A thousand pardons. The spelling of my name gets managled all the time, so I try to be extra careful in spelling other people's names. Sorry, I goofed.

Benedick: So, you'll re-upload the photos and fix the spelling?

Me: What are you, crazy? Blow those candles out!

Me: You're a handsome young man.

Me: Fifty first dates! Well, I've never attempted that LTW before, so it should be interesting. You and the matchmaker are about to become very good friends.

Me: If you want fifty first dates, Benedick, you better get started. With fifty girls to chose from you're bound to find someone whose name starts with a B.
Benedick: I don't want to get married. I just want to date and have fun.
Me: Don't forget who's running the show here, Ben. Don Lothario didn't anticipate on settling down either. Anyway, lady #1 is Viola Owens. She's got your turn-ons, but her name doesn't start with "B", so she's out of the running for wife.
Benedick: Are you listening to me?

Me:*sigh* Antonio, you know this "relationship" with Kaylynn can't go anywhere.

Antonio: I know, but I haven't been with anyone since Hero died. Kaylynn makes me feel alive again.

Me: Interesting, I wouldn't have pegged you as being into the gearhead chicks. Kaylynn is kinda pretty though. If she makes it to playable status, a makeover will be in order.

Me: You two really are twins. You're smustling in perfect harmony and even have the same expression on your face.

Me: Kaylynn was also getting in on the smustling action. It's neat that she can learn hobby enthusiam even though she's not playable. She's just been invited to visit the Music and Dance lot.

Antontio: Titania, thanks for inviting the kids and me over for a pool party.
Titania: You're welcome to our home anytime, Antonio. Oberon and I thought it would be a wonderful idea to get our old and new friends together. I hope you enjoy yourself.

Oberon: Antonio, I am delighted you came. There's someone I want you to meet...

Oberon: Antonio, this is Aurora Akagi. Aurora is new in town. I thought you could show her the sites.

Oberon: You two have a lot in common. I'll leave you to get to know each other better. I'm sure we will all become the best of friends.
Aurora: Oberon has told me so much about you, Antonio. I hear you are an animal lover too. I would love to meet your pet rat sometime.
Antonio: Uh-

Antonio: Thanks for introducing me to Aurora, Oberon. I appreciate you trying to fix me up.
Oberon: You are a kind-hearted person, Antonio. My wish for you is that you can once again find the happiness you had with Hero.
Antonio: I'm starting to wonder if that kind of happiness comes around more than once, my friend.
Oberon: What do you think of Aurora?
Antonio: She seems nice enough, but I don't know. She was very interested in my rat.

Aurora: You're looking mighty dapper in that uniform, Oberon.

Beatrice: You are so tense, Benedick. What's wrong?
Benedick: I think Oberon had an ulterior motive for inviting us over.
Beatrice: Well, duh. He wants to hook Papa up with Aurora.
Benedick: It's more like he wants to unload Aurora off on Papa. Ah, that feels good, Beatrice. You've got magical fingers.
Me: Uh, Benedick, isn't it time for you to go on another date?
Beatrice: *glares*

Me: Lucy? No, that won't do. You're Pleasure, and she's Knowledge.
Benedick: Yeah, I'm not feeling much chemistry with her.
Me: Next!

Me: Lisa Brown? She's Lucy's best friend.

Me: Benedick! What are you two doing? You're babies!

Gypsy: Ah, Mademoiselle Monty. You are requesting a date for your brother, no?
Beatrice: No! I want my own date. That'll show him...
Me: Him?

Me: Adrian Sell is going to college with Angela Pleasant. Don't expect much from this, Bea.
Beatrice: Is that the best you could do? He's not nearly cute enough.
Adrian: Hey!
Beatrice: I need someone really hot. That will get his attention.
Me: Who, Beatrice?
Beatrice: Not talking to you.
Me: You just did, Ms. Smarty Pants.

Me: Uh-oh. Looks like Romeo has been busted.

Mercutio: We've got to find a way to put Tybalt in his place, Benedick.
Benedick: Aren't you tired of getting your arse kicked, Merc? Look, if you want to get Tybalt, you need to hit him where it hurts.
Mercutio: I don't want to mess up his chance of having kids.

Benedick: I'm talking about his wallet, Merc. Money means more to Tybalt than anything.

Mercutio: Oh, right.

Benedick: Tybalt is planning to take over Old Man Capp's restaurant when he graduates college. I say we open our own restaurant and give him some competition.

Me: I think that's a great idea, especially since neither one of you has a career-related lifetime want.

Me: Romeo wasn't phased by his faux pas with Juliette and Desdemona. He still has Bottom.

Benedick: Look how Bottom is fawning all over Romeo! Honestly, what does she see in him, Beatrice?

Beatrice: *wistfully* Sometimes people are clueless and don't realize the perfect one for them is right under their nose.

Me: I have a feeling your dad is going to regret having you guys share a room.

Mercutio: This couch rocks.

I'm not even exaggerating the relationship between Beatrice and Benedict. They are constantly giving each other autonomous back rubs, hugs, and kisses. Even when they are visting someone else's lot, they seek each other out for interaction. I've never seen siblings behave like that. Very creepy!
Antonio and Kaylynn autonomously built up their relationship. And thanks to ACR they kept hitting the sheets.
Bianca Monty's lot is up next. Stay tuned...

Round 1: Monty 1

Round 1: Monty 1

He's a Romeo

Patrizio and Isabella Monty are savoring their last days together. Mercutio Monty is preparing for college, while his brother Romeo is juggling girlfriends. Let's see how the Montys are doing...

Me: *psst* Romeo, do you realize you're kissing the wrong Capp cousin?

Romeo: I know, but I can't help myself. Des grew up to be a hottie.

Me: So much for true love...

Me: Even Sweets knows you're in the wrong, Romeo.

Romeo: Nice doggie.

Me: That's still not your girlfriend, Romeo but her name does start with R, so I guess Ratna gets to go to college with you.

Me: Tiffany seems to be a nice dog. Unfortunately, Mercutio, you're not allowed to adopt her.

Mercutio: I know, but I'll feed her until she finds a good home.

Me: Well, you do have the 20 best pet friends want, so that's a good way to make a four-legged friend.

Me: Romeo, allow me to introduce you to Juliette, a.k.a. your girlfriend.

Me: It may look like Mercutio is living every teenage boy's dream, but in reality Bella was just passing by as he was getting ready for bed. Hands off, Bella, he's not legal yet.

Me: Aww...it's so sweet to see that the romance is still going strong.

Me: Unfortunately, the romance has come to an end.

Me: Poor Isabella is devastated over the loss her beloved Patrizio.

Me: If losing her husband wasn't enough, her oldest grandchild is off to college. Wow! Is the SentryBot sad to see Mercutio go?

Beatrice: Nonna, I am so sorry about Poppy's passing. I'll come visit you every day so that you don't get lonely.

Isbella: Grazie, Beatrice. Between you and me, precious, you are my favorite grandchild. I hope Antonio or Bianca gives me another granddaughter some day.

Me: Precious, my foot. Beatrice is trying to boost her inheritance.

Isabella: Scott, nothing would please me in my old age but to see my daughter get married before I die. I understand your son Bruce is single...

Me: Setting your daughter up with your butler's son? Well, at least you aren't hung up on some ridiculous class system.

Isabella: My, Bruce, you are handsome young man. I'm sure my daughter will love you.

Bianca: Mama, you didn't tell me you wanted to introduce me to someone. I just came from the gym I'm a mess!

Isabella: You look fine, Bianca. A little skin might help.

Me: *speechless*

Isabella: You two take your time getting acquanited. Don't mind me. I'll go fix some lunch.

Me: Fried chicken? So much for Bianca's workout.

Isabella: Bianca could stand to put on a couple of pounds. I hear the boys like a little junk in the trunk.

Me: *speechless again*

Me: Messing with Desdemona again, I see.

Me: Oh, no, not Bottom too! Bottom is a sweet girl. Romeo, if you break her heart, you'll answer to me! I think it's time to send you to college before you have every girl in Veronaville in love with you.

Me: And the SentryBot is glad to see Romeo go. All of the jealous females had the bot working overtime!

Me: This toy brick is now Isabella's only housemate.

I apologize in advance for this entry not being up to my normal snarkiness, but I've been struggling with writer's block. Anyway, Antontio Monty's family is up next. Stay tuned...