Round 1: Lothario 1

Round 1: Lothario 1

Ladies Love Cool Don

When we last saw Don Lothario, he was running away from his wedding to Cassandra Goth. Let's see how Don is doing now...

And here we have the jilted bride kicking over Don's trash can. Hell hath no fury like a wannabe desperate housewife scorned.

Anyway, as I was saying, let's check in on Don...
Me: Don, I don't believe you! You just dumped Cassandra, and you've already moved on to Nina Caliente? You should be ashamed!

Don: Cut me some slack. I was with Cassandra for two years. Two long years and I was faithful to her. But marriage and family aren't for me. I'm young, I'm handsome, and I've got a good job. There are so many women out there. I've got to make up for lost time.

Me: I see you have a lot of making up to do.

Don: *snickers* And making out.

Me: Don't you two look cozy?

Don: Nina is a great girl and she's gorgeous, but I'm not committing to anyone right now.

Me: Obviously.

Don: Can you blame me? Kaylynn is so hot in her maid uniform! Plus, she counts for NPC woohoo. Say, that reminds me. You don't have that Risky Woohoo hack installed, do you?

Me: No. This population is already out of control.

Don: Awesome!

Me: Don, I know you're playing the field, but Dina is Nina's sister. I don't think it's a good idea to pick fruit from the same family tree.

Don: I know, but she's so hot. And, she's blonde!

Me: *sighs*

Don: It's not just her looks. Dina is a very smart businesswoman.

Me: Uh-huh.

Me: Are you spying on the Caliente sisters?
Don: Nope.

Me: Why are your fingers crossed?

Me: Cassandra struck again?
Don: I've got to do something about her.

Don: Thanks for coming over, Cassandra.

Cassandra: Why did you invite me over, Don?

Don: Cass, you are the most wonderful woman in the history of the entire Simverse. You're incredible. You have the looks of a Miss Simerica with the brains to match. Cass, you need someone good enough for you. You don't want a guy who spends all his time thinking about cars and working on his biceps. You want somebody who can love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way I want you to be loved. Cass, you need someone who will love you forever, properly. You're my friend, Cass, and I want to see you with the best. You need Mr. Incredible, Mr. Amazing, Mr. Fantastic, and in your heart you know I'm right.

Cassandra: Don't you try to feed me that crock of horsepucky, Donatello Lothario! Not only did you humiliate me in front of my family, you broke my heart. I swear, I am going to make you pay!

Don: I thought for sure that speech would work.

Me: Well, it did sound better coming from Patrick. By the way, I didn't know you were interested in Robotics.

Don: I'm not, but if I'm going to be dealing with psycho chicks, I'm going to need some sentry bots.

Me: Congrats on your promotion, Don.

Don: This sucks.

Me: Why? You're a Resident, and you're going to be making more money.

Don: Did you see the hours? 6 PM - 1 AM! That's prime dating time!

Me: You know, if you're going to be entertaining ladies here, you might want to boost your cooking skill.

Don: This is temporary. I'm saving up for a butler.

Don: I know I'm ripped now, but I was a fat kid. My schoolmates teased me so much, I cried myself to sleep every night.

Samantha: Oh, you poor thing.

Me: I can't believe she's falling for this crap.

Don: You'd be surprised at how many women do.

Me: What, you're actually greeting a guy?

Don: No, I don't swing that way, but I'm hoping I can fix Connor here up with Cassandra. Give her someone else to stalk.

Me: Why, Don, that's so generous of you.

Me: I see you've forgotten about Connor rather quickly.

Don: Well, Virginia Kwa walked by, and I just had to greet her.

Me: If she leads off with talk of public woohoo, she must be perfect for you.

Me: Let me take a guess...

Don: Yes, Cassandra came by last night. This can't go on forever.

Me: Don, have you actually tried apologizing to her?

Don: What, that will never work!

Me: So, do you like these hours better?

Don: Yep. Especially the 10 AM part. Gives me some time to sleep in.

Me: Yeah, I'm sure you're going to be doing a lot of sleeping in.

Me: Get ready to rumble!

Don: Cassandra, I am so sorry I left you at the altar. I know it must have been painful for you, but trust me, it's the best thing. I wish I had been strong enough to tell you sooner, so it wouldn't have hurt you so much. Will you please, please forgive me?

Cassandra: Ok, Don, I forgive you.

Don: You do?

Me: You do?

Cassandra: All I wanted was for you to realize the pain you put me through. Promise me, you'll never do that to another woman again.

Don: Cass, I know this in no way makes up for what I did to you, but will you please accept this rose?

Cassandra: Oh, Don, you're so sweet.

Me: Uh-oh, here we go again.

Don: Well, who would have thought I would have come out of that smelling like a rose?

Me: No pun intended, I'm sure.

Don: I can't believe a simple apology worked. If I had known that, I would have apologized ages ago.

Me: I hope you learned something from this, Don.

Don: Oh, I did. I learned that Ladies love cool Don! *sings* Oh, yeah, who's the man?

Me: Ok, I'm going to let you revel in your unmitigated ego for now, but you and I have business to discuss next week.

Me: Don, you obviously didn't learn anything. What are you doing in the hot tub with Cassandra?

Don: Are you kidding me? After all she put me through this week, I am totally hitting that.

I was worried that a single Sim household was going to be difficult, but Don's story practically wrote itself. I really wanted to characterize him more sympathetically. I wanted to see him as misunderstood, but Don really did come off as a womanizing jerk. But he's a lovable, jerk. :)

I also got to try out the Smooth Talk interaction for the first time. I thought the Prima Guide said it would erase the furious state, but the relationship between Don and Casandra must have been too low, because it didn't work the first few times.

I am afraid Don and Nina are the first victims of the Alphabet Twist. They have three bolts of chemistry, but can't be together because their initials don't match. He does have two bolts with Dina, though.

Speaking of the Caliente sisters, they are up next!

Round 1: Goth 1

Round 1: Goth 1

I Can't Let This Wedding Happen!

I thought it would be appropriate to start this blog with the Goth family. I'm not sure what order I'm going to play the rest of the households. I had thought about playing them alphabetically, but I think I will play them in the order that they are introduced in the Prima Guides. Either way, I will start with the Goths. It's kinda like the Olympic Parade of Nations always starting with Greece.If you're a serious Simmer, you're no stranger to the Goth family. Mortimer, Bella, and Cassandra were one of the orginal families in The Sims. Cassandra was just a little girl, but twenty-five years have passed. Cassandra is grown, Alexander has joined the family, and Bella has gone missing. Let's see how they are doing...

Me: Hello, Mortimer, you're looking quite dapper today.

Mortimer: Madam, do you realize by addressing me you are breaking the fourth wall?

Me: I know, but I really enjoy blogs, movies, and tv shows that break the fourth wall. Would you kindly indulge me?

Mortimer: Very well, but please change your manner of address. We are not so familiar.

Me: Pardon me, Sir, I did not mean to offend. Could you tell me why you are in formal attire?

Mortimer: Certainly, today Cassandra is marrying Don Lothario.

Me: *gasps* Cassandra can't marry Don! I can't let this wedding happen!

Mortimer: Madam, who my daughter marries is no concern of yours. Cassandra will marry Don.

Me: But, Mortimer-

Mortimer: *growls*

Me: Sorry, Sir, you don't understand. Cassandra cannot marry Don.

Mortimer: If you are planning to tell me that Don Lothario cannot marry my daughter because he is a Romance Sim, save your breath. Don and I have an understanding.

Me: An understanding? Mr. Goth, are you telling me that you bought your daughter a husband?

Mortimer: You will not repeat this to anyone. Don will marry my daughter and produce grandchildren, and should his bank account grow, I will be considered a generous father-in-law.

Me: I think I'm going to be sick. Anyway, Don's romancing ways aren't the reason he can't marry Cassandra.

Mortimer: Then pray tell, why can't Don marry Cassandra?

Me: By the sheer look of terror in Don't eyes, I think this wedding is going to be a non-issue. Anyway, Mr. Goth, I have a plan for the marriages in the Uber-hood.

Mortimer: And what exactly is your plan?

Me: I'm adding an Alphabet twist to this neighborhood. Every Sim must marry someone who shares the same initial. Their children's names will all start with the next letter in the Alphabet. Each subsequent generation will start with the next letter, and the family line ends when the Z generation is reached.

Mortimer: My daughter has had a hard enough time finding someone to marry her, now you are telling me that she has to marry someone whose name also starts with the letter C?

Me: That's the idea. But don't worry. She's not limited to NPCs and townies. She can also marry playables as long as their name starts with C. It may sound impossible now, but this is the Uber-hood. There are hundreds of Sims here.

Me: In the meantime, Don is going to bolt and Cassandra is going to be crushed.

Me: Aw, the poor thing. I don't think she saw it coming.

Me: Cassandra, cheer up. I know it looks bad now, but things will get better I promise. Don wasn't right for you, but you're going to meet a great guy and have lots of babies.

Cassandra: *sobs*

Me: Well, I think you need some time to pull yourself together. I'll check in on you later, ok?

Cassandra: BWAH!!!!!

Me: Good evening, Mr. Goth, and who do we have here?

Mortimer: This young lady is Mallory Dalton. She is a member of the Garden Club.

Me: She's perfect for you, Mr. Goth. Her name starts with M, and I believe you fancy her.

Mortimer: Are you daft, Madam? I am a married man!

Me: *sheepishly* Oh, I see you are. A thousand pardons, Mr. Goth. I didn't know that when HP created the Uber-hood she restored the relationship between you and your wife Bella. Why don't you ring your wife up and tell her to come home?

Me: *sighs* Aw, the Goths together again.

Mortimer: A little privacy, please.

Me: Sorry.

Me: It's so nice to see the whole family together. I think it's time for a family photo.

Me: Welcome back, Mrs. Goth. I see that you're off to work. No offense, but you don't strike me as a Military Sim.

Bella: I'm not. My dream is to become a Professional Party Guest.

Me: Yes, that sounds more like it.

Me: Alexander, the bus is waiting. Why are you walking to school?

Alexander: The big kids on the bus always take my lunch money.

Me: Kids can be cruel. I hated riding the bus when I was in school too.

Me: Good morning, Mr. Goth. What are you doing?

Mortimer: If you must know, I am looking for a job. My life has been consumed with finding my wife. Now that she is back, I feel a void. So I am looking for a job in the Gamer career.

Me: That's an interesting want. I would not have pegged you as a Gamer.

Mortimer: My lifetime want is to become the Chief of Staff at Pleasant View General. It's unreachable. Thanks to you for not downloading the patch to fix Elder lifetime wants.

Me: Sorry.

Mortimer: You say that a lot.

Me: Just around you.

Mortimer: *snorts*

Me: I take it the Gamer career didn't come up on the computer?

Mortimer: No.

Me: I have found that since the Apartment Life expansion pack, the newspaper is useless for the jobs. The three careers offered in the paper always come up as three of the five on the computer.

Me: Ooh, the first chance card!

Me: Looks like your chance card went well. Congratulations on your promotion to Project Leader.

Cassandra: Thank you. My love life may be in the toilet, but at least my career is going well.

Me: Things will turn around. Don't give up.

Cassandra: So do you have any potions for making someone disappear?

Me: *scolds* Cassandra!

Cassandra: How about a voodoo doll, then?

Me: Why don't you ask her to set you up with someone?

Me: I see you're serious about this.

Cassandra: Of course, I'm serious. My eggs are drying up!

Me: Ew.

Gypsy: Mademoiselle Goth, I present to you Marcel Siew.

Cassandra: I gave you 5000 Simoleans, and you couldn't even bring someone whose name started with C?

Me: Isn't he the Games hobby leader?

Me: He must be the Games hobby leader! He can't even have a date without playing chess.

Me: Look at you flirting, Cassandra! I knew you would bounce back.

Cassandra: Ssh. He'll hear you.

Me: No he won't. Townies and NPCs can't hear me because they are not playable. As a matter of fact, when you're on someone else's lot, you can't hear me either.

Cassandra: Oh. I see. Anyway, this date is a waste. I can't marry him.

Me: You need to get your feet wet. And, he might have friends.

Cassandra: Friends who names start with C?

Me: Now you're getting it.

Me: A makeover is a great idea. It will boost your confidence. Wow. You are quite lovely. You really are your mother's daughter.

Cassandra: *blushes* Thanks.

Me: I can't believe you have the nerve to go near a telescope!

Me: Congratulations on discovering your Predestined Hobby, Bella. You keep surprising me. I wouldn't have figured you for a tinkerer.

Bella: Did you know woohoo counts as Tinkering?

Me: That explains it all.

Me: Bella, it looks like you're on your way to becoming that Professional Party Guest.

Me: Happy birthday, Harry! Excuse me. I mean, Alexander.

Alexander: Not funny.

Me: Just chillin'?

Alexander: Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

Me: Nice try with the street talk, but there was no doubt in my mind you'd be a Knowledge Sim.

Alexander: And my secondary aspiration is Family.

Me: How sweet.

Alexander: My lifetime want is to reach the top of the Law Enforcement career.

Me: Dang! I must remember to wait until your lifetime want is assigned before allowing you to pick a secondary aspiration. I was so hoping you would get the Max Out 7 Skills want. Anyway, it's time for an updated family photo.

Me: Good for you for getting out, Cassandra. You'll never meet Mr. Right just sitting around the house. And look, on your first trip to town you meet Charlie Tang.

Cassandra: I know his name starts with C, but I'm just not into him. Don't you think Gilbert is dreamy?

Me: *facepalm*

Me: I don't know why my photo capture tool is not capturing the entire text of the message box. I must be too quick on the Print Screen key.

Me: Ok, so does this mean Bella earns more Tinkering enthusiasm?

Me: Well done, on another promotion, Bella!

Me: I take it you two are celebrating Bella's promotion.

Mortimer: Would you kindly excuse yourself, Madam?

Me: Sorry.

Me: I guess the Gamer career is still not coming up?

Mortimer: No.

Me: Alexandar, I can't believe the Gamer career was the first one to come up for you on the computer. Your dad has been trying to get that job all week.

Alexander: *shrugs*

Bella: Congratulations on your first date with Marcel, honey.

Cassandra: Thanks, Mother, but I don't think it's going to go anywhere.

Me: You two look more like sisters than mother and daughter.

Cassandra: I hope you're saying that she looks young and not that I look old.

Bella: Technically, I'm younger than you are, Cassandra.

Me: It's true, she didn't age while she was a townie. We'll have to fix this when you guys can afford some Elixir.

Me: Bella, you're racking up the chance cards.

Me: And the promotions. Why does the game keep saying the Gypsy came home from work with you? I didn't think she had a job.

Bella: *coughs* Patch. *coughs*

Me: Congrats on your promotion and on reaching the top of the career. That will net you a scholarship, which is one of your father's wants.

Alexander: Thanks, I really want to go to college too.

Me: I know. You'll be going to Academie Le Tour at the end of the week.

Alexander: Why Academie Le Tour?

Me: It's part of my Alphabet Twist. Sims with first initals A through I go to Academie Le Tour. J through Q go to La Fiesta Tech. And R through Z go to Sim State.

Alexander: That should increase my odds of meeting someone whose name starts with A.

Me: I'm glad Beasley stopped by. This will give me a chance to explain the pet rule.

Bella: Pet rule?

Me: As part of the Alphabet twist, you can only adopt a pet whose first initial is the same as yours. So you can adopt Beasley, Bella, but no one else in your family can.

Bella: *coos* Aren't you a cute boy, Beasley?

Me: Just what exactly are you projecting there, Bella?

Me: You certainly seem to have your pick of the litter.

Bella: I wish it were this easy for my daughter.

Me: Congrats on finding your Predestined Hobby, and for being featured in the 50th picture of this post!

Me: Um, Mortimer is kinda busy right now.

Cassandra: Who is going to walk me down the aisle now?

Me: The Goth family sans Mortimer.

Me: Mortimer's death doesn't stop Bella from racking up hobby enthusiasm.

Alexander: Maybe it's not a good idea for me to leave my mother and sister.

Me: They are strong women, they will pull through. Besides, one of your father's last wants was for you to go to college.

Me: Hmm, I thought Bella was Mortimer's spouse, not his friend. It looks like there is still some confusion in that relationship. I hope it won't prevent her from remarrying. And, it looks like that golddigger Dina Caliente got some of Mortimer's money after all.

Me: And so, Mortimer Goth lived 66 days, and then he was gathered to his people. It is fitting that the round began and ended with him.

If you made it to the end of this post, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I never imagined it would be this long, but so much happened. I really enjoyed working on this post, and I hope it shows.

The mixup with Mortimer and Mallory really was my faux pas. I didn't realize HP had restored his marriage relationship with Bella until I went to check his chemistry with Mallory. I've had the game since it came out in 2004, but this is the first time I've seen Bella Goth because I hardly ever play Strangetown.

Cassandra is not as hard up as this post seems. There are several guys that she has two-bolts with and guys swoon wherever she goes, but none of their names start with C. Charlie Tang was the only C she met all week, and they have negative chemistry. I'm actually hoping she hits it off with Chester Gieke because I think they would be a cute couple.

Don Lothario will be up next. Stay tuned!