Round 1: Goth 1
I Can't Let This Wedding Happen!
Me: Hello, Mortimer, you're looking quite dapper today.
Mortimer: Madam, do you realize by addressing me you are breaking the fourth wall?
Me: I know, but I really enjoy blogs, movies, and tv shows that break the fourth wall. Would you kindly indulge me?
Mortimer: Very well, but please change your manner of address. We are not so familiar.
Me: Pardon me, Sir, I did not mean to offend. Could you tell me why you are in formal attire?
Mortimer: Certainly, today Cassandra is marrying Don Lothario.
Me: *gasps* Cassandra can't marry Don! I can't let this wedding happen!
Mortimer: Madam, who my daughter marries is no concern of yours. Cassandra will marry Don.
Me: But, Mortimer-
Me: Sorry, Sir, you don't understand. Cassandra cannot marry Don.
Mortimer: If you are planning to tell me that Don Lothario cannot marry my daughter because he is a Romance Sim, save your breath. Don and I have an understanding.
Me: An understanding? Mr. Goth, are you telling me that you bought your daughter a husband?
Mortimer: You will not repeat this to anyone. Don will marry my daughter and produce grandchildren, and should his bank account grow, I will be considered a generous father-in-law.
Me: I think I'm going to be sick. Anyway, Don's romancing ways aren't the reason he can't marry Cassandra.
Mortimer: Then pray tell, why can't Don marry Cassandra?
Me: By the sheer look of terror in Don't eyes, I think this wedding is going to be a non-issue. Anyway, Mr. Goth, I have a plan for the marriages in the Uber-hood.
Mortimer: And what exactly is your plan?
Me: I'm adding an Alphabet twist to this neighborhood. Every Sim must marry someone who shares the same initial. Their children's names will all start with the next letter in the Alphabet. Each subsequent generation will start with the next letter, and the family line ends when the Z generation is reached.
Mortimer: My daughter has had a hard enough time finding someone to marry her, now you are telling me that she has to marry someone whose name also starts with the letter C?
Me: That's the idea. But don't worry. She's not limited to NPCs and townies. She can also marry playables as long as their name starts with C. It may sound impossible now, but this is the Uber-hood. There are hundreds of Sims here.
Me: In the meantime, Don is going to bolt and Cassandra is going to be crushed.
Me: Aw, the poor thing. I don't think she saw it coming.
Me: Cassandra, cheer up. I know it looks bad now, but things will get better I promise. Don wasn't right for you, but you're going to meet a great guy and have lots of babies.
Me: Well, I think you need some time to pull yourself together. I'll check in on you later, ok?
Me: Good evening, Mr. Goth, and who do we have here?
Mortimer: This young lady is Mallory Dalton. She is a member of the Garden Club.
Me: She's perfect for you, Mr. Goth. Her name starts with M, and I believe you fancy her.
Mortimer: Are you daft, Madam? I am a married man!
Me: *sheepishly* Oh, I see you are. A thousand pardons, Mr. Goth. I didn't know that when HP created the Uber-hood she restored the relationship between you and your wife Bella. Why don't you ring your wife up and tell her to come home?
Me: *sighs* Aw, the Goths together again.
Mortimer: A little privacy, please.
Me: It's so nice to see the whole family together. I think it's time for a family photo.
Me: Welcome back, Mrs. Goth. I see that you're off to work. No offense, but you don't strike me as a Military Sim.
Bella: I'm not. My dream is to become a Professional Party Guest.
Me: Yes, that sounds more like it.
Me: Alexander, the bus is waiting. Why are you walking to school?
Alexander: The big kids on the bus always take my lunch money.
Me: Kids can be cruel. I hated riding the bus when I was in school too.
Me: Good morning, Mr. Goth. What are you doing?
Mortimer: If you must know, I am looking for a job. My life has been consumed with finding my wife. Now that she is back, I feel a void. So I am looking for a job in the Gamer career.
Me: That's an interesting want. I would not have pegged you as a Gamer.
Mortimer: My lifetime want is to become the Chief of Staff at Pleasant View General. It's unreachable. Thanks to you for not downloading the patch to fix Elder lifetime wants.
Mortimer: You say that a lot.
Me: Just around you.
Me: I take it the Gamer career didn't come up on the computer?
Me: I have found that since the Apartment Life expansion pack, the newspaper is useless for the jobs. The three careers offered in the paper always come up as three of the five on the computer.
Me: Ooh, the first chance card!
Me: Looks like your chance card went well. Congratulations on your promotion to Project Leader.
Cassandra: Thank you. My love life may be in the toilet, but at least my career is going well.
Me: Things will turn around. Don't give up.
Cassandra: So do you have any potions for making someone disappear?
Me: *scolds* Cassandra!
Cassandra: How about a voodoo doll, then?
Me: Why don't you ask her to set you up with someone?
Me: I see you're serious about this.
Cassandra: Of course, I'm serious. My eggs are drying up!
Gypsy: Mademoiselle Goth, I present to you Marcel Siew.
Cassandra: I gave you 5000 Simoleans, and you couldn't even bring someone whose name started with C?
Me: Isn't he the Games hobby leader?
Me: He must be the Games hobby leader! He can't even have a date without playing chess.
Me: Look at you flirting, Cassandra! I knew you would bounce back.
Cassandra: Ssh. He'll hear you.
Me: No he won't. Townies and NPCs can't hear me because they are not playable. As a matter of fact, when you're on someone else's lot, you can't hear me either.
Cassandra: Oh. I see. Anyway, this date is a waste. I can't marry him.
Me: You need to get your feet wet. And, he might have friends.
Cassandra: Friends who names start with C?
Me: Now you're getting it.
Me: A makeover is a great idea. It will boost your confidence. Wow. You are quite lovely. You really are your mother's daughter.
Cassandra: *blushes* Thanks.
Me: I can't believe you have the nerve to go near a telescope!
Me: Congratulations on discovering your Predestined Hobby, Bella. You keep surprising me. I wouldn't have figured you for a tinkerer.
Bella: Did you know woohoo counts as Tinkering?
Me: That explains it all.
Me: Bella, it looks like you're on your way to becoming that Professional Party Guest.
Me: Happy birthday, Harry! Excuse me. I mean, Alexander.
Alexander: Not funny.
Me: Just chillin'?
Alexander: Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.
Me: Nice try with the street talk, but there was no doubt in my mind you'd be a Knowledge Sim.
Alexander: And my secondary aspiration is Family.
Me: How sweet.
Alexander: My lifetime want is to reach the top of the Law Enforcement career.
Me: Dang! I must remember to wait until your lifetime want is assigned before allowing you to pick a secondary aspiration. I was so hoping you would get the Max Out 7 Skills want. Anyway, it's time for an updated family photo.
Me: Good for you for getting out, Cassandra. You'll never meet Mr. Right just sitting around the house. And look, on your first trip to town you meet Charlie Tang.
Cassandra: I know his name starts with C, but I'm just not into him. Don't you think Gilbert is dreamy?
Me: I don't know why my photo capture tool is not capturing the entire text of the message box. I must be too quick on the Print Screen key.
Me: Ok, so does this mean Bella earns more Tinkering enthusiasm?
Me: Well done, on another promotion, Bella!
Me: I take it you two are celebrating Bella's promotion.
Mortimer: Would you kindly excuse yourself, Madam?
Me: I guess the Gamer career is still not coming up?
Me: Alexandar, I can't believe the Gamer career was the first one to come up for you on the computer. Your dad has been trying to get that job all week.
Bella: Congratulations on your first date with Marcel, honey.
Cassandra: Thanks, Mother, but I don't think it's going to go anywhere.
Me: You two look more like sisters than mother and daughter.
Cassandra: I hope you're saying that she looks young and not that I look old.
Bella: Technically, I'm younger than you are, Cassandra.
Me: It's true, she didn't age while she was a townie. We'll have to fix this when you guys can afford some Elixir.
Me: Bella, you're racking up the chance cards.
Me: And the promotions. Why does the game keep saying the Gypsy came home from work with you? I didn't think she had a job.
Bella: *coughs* Patch. *coughs*
Me: Congrats on your promotion and on reaching the top of the career. That will net you a scholarship, which is one of your father's wants.
Alexander: Thanks, I really want to go to college too.
Me: I know. You'll be going to Academie Le Tour at the end of the week.
Alexander: Why Academie Le Tour?
Me: It's part of my Alphabet Twist. Sims with first initals A through I go to Academie Le Tour. J through Q go to La Fiesta Tech. And R through Z go to Sim State.
Alexander: That should increase my odds of meeting someone whose name starts with A.
Me: I'm glad Beasley stopped by. This will give me a chance to explain the pet rule.
Bella: Pet rule?
Me: As part of the Alphabet twist, you can only adopt a pet whose first initial is the same as yours. So you can adopt Beasley, Bella, but no one else in your family can.
Bella: *coos* Aren't you a cute boy, Beasley?
Me: Just what exactly are you projecting there, Bella?
Me: You certainly seem to have your pick of the litter.
Bella: I wish it were this easy for my daughter.
Me: Congrats on finding your Predestined Hobby, and for being featured in the 50th picture of this post!
Me: Um, Mortimer is kinda busy right now.
Cassandra: Who is going to walk me down the aisle now?
Me: The Goth family sans Mortimer.
Me: Mortimer's death doesn't stop Bella from racking up hobby enthusiasm.
Alexander: Maybe it's not a good idea for me to leave my mother and sister.
Me: They are strong women, they will pull through. Besides, one of your father's last wants was for you to go to college.
Me: Hmm, I thought Bella was Mortimer's spouse, not his friend. It looks like there is still some confusion in that relationship. I hope it won't prevent her from remarrying. And, it looks like that golddigger Dina Caliente got some of Mortimer's money after all.
Me: And so, Mortimer Goth lived 66 days, and then he was gathered to his people. It is fitting that the round began and ended with him.
If you made it to the end of this post, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I never imagined it would be this long, but so much happened. I really enjoyed working on this post, and I hope it shows.
The mixup with Mortimer and Mallory really was my faux pas. I didn't realize HP had restored his marriage relationship with Bella until I went to check his chemistry with Mallory. I've had the game since it came out in 2004, but this is the first time I've seen Bella Goth because I hardly ever play Strangetown.
Cassandra is not as hard up as this post seems. There are several guys that she has two-bolts with and guys swoon wherever she goes, but none of their names start with C. Charlie Tang was the only C she met all week, and they have negative chemistry. I'm actually hoping she hits it off with Chester Gieke because I think they would be a cute couple.
Don Lothario will be up next. Stay tuned!