Round 1: Monty 1
He's a Romeo
Me: *psst* Romeo, do you realize you're kissing the wrong Capp cousin?
Romeo: I know, but I can't help myself. Des grew up to be a hottie.
Me: So much for true love...
Me: Even Sweets knows you're in the wrong, Romeo.
Romeo: Nice doggie.
Me: That's still not your girlfriend, Romeo but her name does start with R, so I guess Ratna gets to go to college with you.
Me: Tiffany seems to be a nice dog. Unfortunately, Mercutio, you're not allowed to adopt her.
Mercutio: I know, but I'll feed her until she finds a good home.
Me: Well, you do have the 20 best pet friends want, so that's a good way to make a four-legged friend.
Me: Romeo, allow me to introduce you to Juliette, a.k.a. your girlfriend.
Me: It may look like Mercutio is living every teenage boy's dream, but in reality Bella was just passing by as he was getting ready for bed. Hands off, Bella, he's not legal yet.
Me: Aww...it's so sweet to see that the romance is still going strong.
Me: Unfortunately, the romance has come to an end.
Me: Poor Isabella is devastated over the loss her beloved Patrizio.
Me: If losing her husband wasn't enough, her oldest grandchild is off to college. Wow! Is the SentryBot sad to see Mercutio go?
Beatrice: Nonna, I am so sorry about Poppy's passing. I'll come visit you every day so that you don't get lonely.
Isbella: Grazie, Beatrice. Between you and me, precious, you are my favorite grandchild. I hope Antonio or Bianca gives me another granddaughter some day.
Me: Precious, my foot. Beatrice is trying to boost her inheritance.
Isabella: Scott, nothing would please me in my old age but to see my daughter get married before I die. I understand your son Bruce is single...
Me: Setting your daughter up with your butler's son? Well, at least you aren't hung up on some ridiculous class system.
Isabella: My, Bruce, you are handsome young man. I'm sure my daughter will love you.
Bianca: Mama, you didn't tell me you wanted to introduce me to someone. I just came from the gym I'm a mess!
Isabella: You look fine, Bianca. A little skin might help.
Me: *speechless*
Isabella: You two take your time getting acquanited. Don't mind me. I'll go fix some lunch.
Me: Fried chicken? So much for Bianca's workout.
Isabella: Bianca could stand to put on a couple of pounds. I hear the boys like a little junk in the trunk.
Me: *speechless again*
Me: Messing with Desdemona again, I see.
Me: Oh, no, not Bottom too! Bottom is a sweet girl. Romeo, if you break her heart, you'll answer to me! I think it's time to send you to college before you have every girl in Veronaville in love with you.
Me: And the SentryBot is glad to see Romeo go. All of the jealous females had the bot working overtime!
Me: This toy brick is now Isabella's only housemate.
I apologize in advance for this entry not being up to my normal snarkiness, but I've been struggling with writer's block. Anyway, Antontio Monty's family is up next. Stay tuned...
