Round 1: Pleasant 1
You've Gotta Be Kidding Me!
You've Gotta Be Kidding Me!
The Pleasants look like your typical nuclear family, but we all know looks can be deceiving. Twins Angela and Lilith constantly fight, mother Mary-Sue is focused on her career, and father Daniel has a wandering eye. Let's see how the Pleasants are doing..
Me: Lilith, it's not nice to slap your sister around.
Lilith: I'm trying to slap some sense into her. Didn't you hear? Miss Goody-Two-Shoes did the deed with Dustin.
Me: Um, yes, I knew that.
Angela: We weren't planning to. It just kinda happened.
Me: Angela, it just kinda happened twice.
Angela: *smiles giddily*
Me: It's a shame you two are at odds since you have so much in common.Angela: That's the problem. We both want to win the Simbledon Tennis Tournament.
Me: Isn't your dad a former champion?
Angela: Yes, he's our coach.
Me: Your dad coaches both of you? You're like the Williams sisters!
Lilith: Except with better hair.
Me: I think I hear a car. Your mom is home early.
Me: Mary-Sue, tough break about your job.
Mary-Sue: I got downsized.
Me: The economy is rough these days. A lot of companies are folding.
Mary-Sue: I think this is a sign. For the past sixteen years, I've been focused on climbing the career ladder. I've neglected my husband and daughters, and for what? A broken coffee mug, a couple of T-shirts, and a company pen that doesn't write. I'm uptight and boring. But that's all going to change. You're looking at the new Mary-Sue.
Me: Good for you, Mary-Sue. You're making lemonade.
Mary-Sue: I want excitement! I want adventure!
Mary-Sue: I want to be a Space Pirate!
Me: Let's not get too carried away.
Daniel: Sweetheart, I am so happy to see this side of you. You've brought back the young girl who stole my heart all those years ago.
Me: *rolling my eyes*
Daniel: Mary-Sue, I've done things I'm not proud of, but I want this to be a new start for us. Let's have some fun in our golden years.
Me: We'll see how long this wedded bliss lasts.
Lilith: Daddy, I heard that a girl in my class had woohoo with her boyfriend.
Daniel: That was a very foolish thing to do. She could get sick. Dirk isn't pressuring you is he, Lilith?
Lilith: Of course not, Dad. Dirk respects me.
Daniel: Good. That Dirk is a good boy. Not like that Dustin character. It's a good thing Angela is too smart to let him take advantage of her.
Me:*whispers* Lilith, you wouldn't bust your sister, would you? I know you want to win Simbledon, but eliminating your biggest competition this way is cheap.
Lilith: *grits teeth* Yes, Daddy, Angela is much too smart for that.
Mary-Sue: If I wasn't happily married to your father, I wouldn't mind having a fling with that Don Lothario. He's so dreamy.
Angela: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Me: Congrats on your promotion, Daniel.
Daniel: Thanks. I've been coaching the girls for years. It's nice that the Wrightsville Tennis Assocation has finally recognized my work.
Me: Hit the showers, Coach. Your family has planned a big birthday celebration for you.
Me: Wow, Daniel. I think this is the biggest birthday party we've seen yet.
Daniel: Yes, my in-laws Coral and Herb are here. And so is my sister Jennifer with her husband John and daughter Lucy. And even some of the girls' friends are here.
Me: You must be well loved.
Daniel: I'm an old geezer.Me: Any day above ground is a good day!
Me: Um, what's wrong with this picture? Mary-Sue, do you have a baby bump?
Mary-Sue: Surprise! Daniel and I have been recapturing our youth and well, it looks like we're expecting.
Me: At your age? You've gotta be kidding me.
Daniel: Just because I'm an old man doesn't mean I can't still get down!
Angela: I thought he threw his back out.
Mary-Sue: I don't remember this being so painful last time.
Me: That was a long time ago. Your conscience probably supressed the memory.
Me: Welcome, Emily. Hey, wait a minute. Mary-Sue, I know what that look means!
Me: You have got to be kidding me! You didn't eat cheesecake. You don't have the super fertility benefit.
Mary-Sue: Why are you so suprised? I already had one set of twins, didn't I?
Me: Oh, well. Welcome, Emma.
Me: What's wrong, Daniel?
Daniel: I was hoping for a boy.
Me: Would it kill any of you to smile?
Mary-Sue: Bye, Angela. Have a wonderful time at Academie Le Tour.
Me: Dustin is going there too. Don't have too wonderful a time!Me: Bye, Lilith.
Lilith: This bites. I'm going to La Fiesta Tech while Dirk will be at Academie Le Tour.
Me: Look on the bright side, you won't be at the same school as Angela.
Lilith: Good point.
Me: What on SimEarth are you doing? You just had twins!
Daniel: I didn't realize until Emily and Emma were born how much I wanted a son. Mary-Sue is too old to conceive now, so this is the only way.
Me: You better hope the agency sends you a boy.
Daniel: What, you mean I don't get to pick????
Me: Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until the next round to see who the social worker brings! Don't you just love a good cliffhanger?