Round 1: Pleasant 1

Round 1: Pleasant 1
You've Gotta Be Kidding Me!

The Pleasants look like your typical nuclear family, but we all know looks can be deceiving. Twins Angela and Lilith constantly fight, mother Mary-Sue is focused on her career, and father Daniel has a wandering eye. Let's see how the Pleasants are doing..

Me: Lilith, it's not nice to slap your sister around.

Lilith: I'm trying to slap some sense into her. Didn't you hear? Miss Goody-Two-Shoes did the deed with Dustin.

Me: Um, yes, I knew that.

Angela: We weren't planning to. It just kinda happened.

Me: Angela, it just kinda happened twice.

Angela: *smiles giddily*

Me: It's a shame you two are at odds since you have so much in common.

Angela: That's the problem. We both want to win the Simbledon Tennis Tournament.
Me: Isn't your dad a former champion?
Angela: Yes, he's our coach.
Me: Your dad coaches both of you? You're like the Williams sisters!
Lilith: Except with better hair.
Me: I think I hear a car. Your mom is home early.

Me: Mary-Sue, tough break about your job.

Mary-Sue: I got downsized.

Me: The economy is rough these days. A lot of companies are folding.

Mary-Sue: I think this is a sign. For the past sixteen years, I've been focused on climbing the career ladder. I've neglected my husband and daughters, and for what? A broken coffee mug, a couple of T-shirts, and a company pen that doesn't write. I'm uptight and boring. But that's all going to change. You're looking at the new Mary-Sue.

Me: Good for you, Mary-Sue. You're making lemonade.

Mary-Sue: I want excitement! I want adventure!

Mary-Sue: I want to be a Space Pirate!

Me: Let's not get too carried away.

Daniel: Sweetheart, I am so happy to see this side of you. You've brought back the young girl who stole my heart all those years ago.

Me: *rolling my eyes*

Daniel: Mary-Sue, I've done things I'm not proud of, but I want this to be a new start for us. Let's have some fun in our golden years.

Me: We'll see how long this wedded bliss lasts.

Lilith: Daddy, I heard that a girl in my class had woohoo with her boyfriend.

Daniel: That was a very foolish thing to do. She could get sick. Dirk isn't pressuring you is he, Lilith?

Lilith: Of course not, Dad. Dirk respects me.

Daniel: Good. That Dirk is a good boy. Not like that Dustin character. It's a good thing Angela is too smart to let him take advantage of her.

Me:*whispers* Lilith, you wouldn't bust your sister, would you? I know you want to win Simbledon, but eliminating your biggest competition this way is cheap.

Lilith: *grits teeth* Yes, Daddy, Angela is much too smart for that.

Mary-Sue: If I wasn't happily married to your father, I wouldn't mind having a fling with that Don Lothario. He's so dreamy.

Angela: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?

Me: Congrats on your promotion, Daniel.

Daniel: Thanks. I've been coaching the girls for years. It's nice that the Wrightsville Tennis Assocation has finally recognized my work.

Me: Hit the showers, Coach. Your family has planned a big birthday celebration for you.

Me: Wow, Daniel. I think this is the biggest birthday party we've seen yet.

Daniel: Yes, my in-laws Coral and Herb are here. And so is my sister Jennifer with her husband John and daughter Lucy. And even some of the girls' friends are here.

Me: You must be well loved.

Daniel: I'm an old geezer.

Me: Any day above ground is a good day!

Me: Um, what's wrong with this picture? Mary-Sue, do you have a baby bump?

Mary-Sue: Surprise! Daniel and I have been recapturing our youth and well, it looks like we're expecting.

Me: At your age? You've gotta be kidding me.

Daniel: Just because I'm an old man doesn't mean I can't still get down!

Angela: I thought he threw his back out.

Mary-Sue: I don't remember this being so painful last time.

Me: That was a long time ago. Your conscience probably supressed the memory.

Me: Welcome, Emily. Hey, wait a minute. Mary-Sue, I know what that look means!

Me: You have got to be kidding me! You didn't eat cheesecake. You don't have the super fertility benefit.

Mary-Sue: Why are you so suprised? I already had one set of twins, didn't I?

Me: Oh, well. Welcome, Emma.

Daniel: *facepalm*

Me: What's wrong, Daniel?

Daniel: I was hoping for a boy.

Me: Would it kill any of you to smile?

Mary-Sue: Bye, Angela. Have a wonderful time at Academie Le Tour.

Me: Dustin is going there too. Don't have too wonderful a time!

Me: Bye, Lilith.

Lilith: This bites. I'm going to La Fiesta Tech while Dirk will be at Academie Le Tour.

Me: Look on the bright side, you won't be at the same school as Angela.

Lilith: Good point.

Me: What on SimEarth are you doing? You just had twins!

Daniel: I didn't realize until Emily and Emma were born how much I wanted a son. Mary-Sue is too old to conceive now, so this is the only way.

Me: You better hope the agency sends you a boy.

Daniel: What, you mean I don't get to pick????

Me: Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until the next round to see who the social worker brings! Don't you just love a good cliffhanger?