Round 1: Hart 1–Of Cemeteries and Park Benches

When I switched to the Hart Household, I found Dorie and Bebe hanging out in the cemetery.  I don’t know why I was surprised, they are the town loons.

Me: Um, hi, Dorie and Bebe. I didn’t expect to find you two here.

Dorie: We’re enjoying the scenery. This is a great spot to watch the sun rise.

Me: You’re right, the view is very pretty. It’s kind of a shame to waste it on the dead.

Dorie and Bebe: *crickets*

Me: Ok, my bad, even for me, that was too snarky.

Dorie: I like to come here and meditate. It’s peaceful.

Me: It gives all those voices in your head less competition.

Gus is more outgoing than Dorie, so he wanted to hang at the park and mingle with his neighbors.

Me: Gus, spontaneously choking yourself is not good for PR.

Me: Since both you and Dorie want to enter the Political scene, you’re going to need to learn to control your impulses.

While Gus was at the park, I spotted Katrina Martinez, Pablo’s new wife. I tried to use Tallinn's Master Controller Mod to change her outfit, but I couldn’t because Katrina is pregnant! (I guess I missed that notification too.)

Marriage and babies hasn’t stopped either Pablo or Jamie from offering their services to everyone in Sunset Valley.

Score! I caught Pablo in the act of working his magic on Emma Hatch. Don’t waste your time Pablo, Emma is already part of a love triangle.

I’m confused here. Remember an entry or so ago Emma was creeping around with Tamara’s husband Shelby? Which one do you want, Emma? I want you Sims to be juicy, but a “Big Love” style household is too much for me.

After watching the sun come up, Dorie relocated herself to a bench outside of the theater. I’m surprised Dorie doesn’t have the Couch Potato trait because just about every time I switched to her, she was sitting on a bench. Then, she would stand up, walk over to another bench, and sit down. Her bio says that she “lacks direction,” but she sure has a built in GPS for park benches!

Me: Homework troubles, Bebe?

Bebe: I’m struggling with trigonometry. I’m having a hard time remembering all of the functions.

Me: Don’t beat yourself up. It will come to you.

Bebe: *sobs* No, it won’t. I want to go to college really bad, but I know I’m going to end up like my parents.

Me: Bebe, first of all there is no University expansion pack for TS3, but if there were crazy people can still go to college. I went to an Ivy-League college and met some of the craziest people there. Weird thing was they were all in the same major.

Bebe: I want to major in Math. Please don’t tell me it was Math.

Me: Ok… I won’t tell you it was Math.

It was Math!

By the way, if you’re wondering what college I graduated from, I have two words for you: John Nash.

Bebe: Thanks. I have to go now, or I’ll be late for work.

Me: You work in the cemetery? Lisa, VJ, and Holly work there too?

Bebe: It pays as well as all the other jobs and has the least hassles.

Me: I guess that’s true. It’s not like your customers are going to complain.

Bebe: At least not before midnight.

Me: Ok, see you next round.

Other SP Updates:

I guess things didn’t work out with the police officer, so Becky moved on to the repair man.

I need to read back through my older entries because I didn’t remember that Talia and Hank were dating.

Pauline already kicked Kristofer to the curb? Wow, she works fast!

Assuming Fiona was married to River’s dad, this is husband number three. She and Pablo are even.

I don’t know anything about Maximus Howe, but I wish Madison the best. She’s the only one of her roomies who hasn’t settled down yet.

Round 1: Funke 1–Paternity Leave

Me: Good morning, Rhett.

Rhett: It is indeed a good morning. In fact, it may be the most beautiful morning ever.

Me: Why is that?

Rhett: Because I’m quitting my job. I am so happy that I will never have to clean another bed pan in my life that I would come through this screen and hug you if I could.

Me: Don’t thank me. You’re the one with the wish to join Law Enforcement. Since your Lifetime Wish is to be Super Popular, it doesn’t matter which career you’re in. So get out of those PJs and get down to the station.

Rhett: Well, I was thinking that I would join the force after Carol starts school. That way we’d save money on a baby-sitter.

Me: Oh, I see. Well ,I guess it is a good idea to save the money you aren’t making.

Rhett: You know it’s important that she learn all of her toddler skills so that she grows up well.

Me: Yes, I know. Well, I better get going, Rhett.

Rhett: Leaving so soon?

Me: Yeah, I don’t want to be around when you tell the mother of your three young children that she’s going to be the sole income for awhile.

So, yeah, another boring family.  I thought I had taken a capture of Rhett’s wish to join Law Enforcement, but I couldn’t find it in my Screenshots folder. I’m glad he wants to join the Law Enforcement career, because there are only four Sims in that career right now, and one of them is a townie.

Anyway, on to the good stuff….

The updates this time seemed to fall into one of three categories.  First, the baby boom continued.

Real smart to have a baby with the Town Casanova, Tamara.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting this one. Good for you, Iqbal!

It’s another boy for the Bunches. I’m still going through the Popular Australian Names list, so it is just a coincidence that the baby is named John. The name fits though since his father’s name is Jack, and Jack is often a nickname for John.

Yay, Connor got his girl! Funny enough, the only two girls born in Sunset Valley so far are first cousins.

I call the next category of updates “Ladies Rule.”

Illiana got promoted to Vice President,

And she did so by unseating Thornton. So, the top two people at Goth Industries are women: Nancy Landgraab (CEO) and Illiana.

Meanwhile, Vita Alto rules the political scene. She was promoted to Mayor and holds the highest office of the Political Sims.

Strangely enough, she didn’t get her husband’s vote!

The final batch of updates all center around my girl Pauline.

Hate to break it you you, Susan, but breaking Pauline’s tub is no big deal when she’s woohooing the repair guy anyway

Unlike Susan, Tori Steel has a legitimate reason for being miffed with Pauline. For shame, Christopher, I expected better from you.

Honestly, Kristofer, you’re as bad as Jennifer Martinez. I guess it is true to life. Sadly some people keep going back to bad relationships.

And speaking of “Martinez”, I missed getting a screen cap, but Pablo Martinez got married to a townie named Katrina Wiles. I’ve only been playing this hood for about two Sim weeks, and this man is on his third marriage, people!

Round 1: Frio 2–The Experiment

Warning: I never thought I would need to put a warning on a blog entry, but I feel I should in this case. While there are no NSFW pictures in this entry, the themes are mature. If you are under 18, I would prefer that you skip this entry.

Jamie Frio is pregnant, so that means a trip to the Day Spa. I learned too late about the benefits of those Spa moodlets. Some of the Spa Packages give the Sims a positive mood boost for days. Since I started sending my pregnant ladies to the spa, I am almost always able to pick at least one of the baby’s traits without having to read a pregnancy book or a fulfill a craving.

After Jamie’s Relaxing Swedish Massage, she bumped into her friend, Pauline Wan.

Pauline: Wow, Jamie, you have such a cute baby bump!

Jamie: Thanks, but I’m ready for this little one to come out. My back can’t take it anymore.

Pauline: The backaches are the worse! I made Hank massage me every night until Joshua was born.

Jamie: You look great, Pauline. I would have never guessed that you just had a baby.

Pauline: Woohoo is the best exercise, Jamie! I’ve been seeing this handyman named Clark. Let me tell you, he really does know how to use his tool.

Me: Oh no she didn’t!

Poor Talia. First she loses Isaac to Zelda Mae, and now she loses Clark to Pauline.

Jamie: I swear, Pauline, I don’t know how you have time to keep up with your men and take care of a newborn.

Pauline: Yeah, about that…I’ve been meaning to talk to you.

Jamie: What’s wrong?

Pauline: Well, don’t get me wrong, Joshua is great and all that, but I never planned on being a mother.

Jamie: Are you thinking about putting Joshua up for adoption?

Pauline: No, of course not. I just want to make sure I don’t get pregnant again. You’re a doctor. Surely, you have something you could give me.

Jamie: It’s called birth control, Pauline.

Me: It’s called keeping your legs closed, Pauline.

Pauline: Um, hello, I was on birth control. I got pregnant anyway. I must be very fertile. I was wondering if you had anything stronger.

Jamie: It’s interesting that you should ask. I have been working on something in the lab. I have a sample if you’d like to try.

Me: Run, Pauline, run.

Pauline: This is an awfully big pill.

Jamie: Sorry for the size. I’m still trying to find a way to make it smaller without having to reduce the number of nanobots.

Pauline: Nano-what?

Jamie: Nanobots. They are microscopic machines that will surround the ovum, preventing it from being fertilized.

Pauline: You’re going to put tiny little robots inside of me? What if I decide I want to get pregnant later?

Jamie: I’ll give you another pill that will dissolve the nanobots and they’ll pass through your system like any other waste.

Me: Are you for real?

Pauline: How do you know this is safe?

Jamie: I’ve run thousands of clinical trials.

Pauline: In humans?

Jamie: Um, only five of them were human, but I haven’t lost a single subject.

Me: Yet.

Pauline: What the heck? Here goes. *gulps*

Jamie: I’d like you to come home with me, Pauline.

Pauline: What for?

Jamie: There’s nothing to be alarmed about. I just want to observe you for a few hours to make sure there are no averse side effects.

Pauline: Side effects? You didn’t say anything about side effects.

Me: Nice knowing you, Pauline.

While Jamie was drugging up Pauline, her husband Connor was at the library studying how to be a good father.

Me: Connor, it’s refreshing to see a Frio man who wants to be a father.

Connor: I can’t wait for the baby to be born, especially if it’s a girl.

Me: I’m hoping for a girl too. The current baby population is very unbalanced. When you’re done, pass that baby book to Gwen.

Kudos to Cycl0n3 for stepping up to the plate!

Pauline: I’m tired of Judy Bunch and her puritanical crowd giving me the dirty eye all over town. Who died and made them the moral police? Not everybody wants to get married and have kids. I like to woohoo. Big deal. What goes on in my bedroom is none of their business.

Jamie: Pauline, I understand where you’re coming from. I used to think the same way, but then I fell for Connor. I’m head over heels. I hope you find that someday too.

Pauline: Where is your oh-so-fabulous husband, anyway?

Jamie: He’s at the library working on his latest book. Say, after we’re done eating, let’s play a game of chess. I want to see if your logic and reasoning skills were affected by the medicine. But before that, why don’t you clean the dishes?

Pauline: For what?

Jamie: So I can see if your motor skills have been affected. You could also dust the living room while you’re at it.

Me: Well played, Jamie. Okay, ladies, I have to be moving on,. I’ll see you next round.

Other SP Updates:

If Gunther is not careful, he’s going to get busted all the way down to Coffee Courier.

Good news for Tamara: She just got married!

Bad news for Tamara: She just got married to the new Town Casanova. And seriously, Shelby, Emma is your wife’s roommate and friend.That’s low, man.