Warning: I never thought I would need to put a warning on a blog entry, but I feel I should in this case. While there are no NSFW pictures in this entry, the themes are mature. If you are under 18, I would prefer that you skip this entry.
Jamie Frio is pregnant, so that means a trip to the Day Spa. I learned too late about the benefits of those Spa moodlets. Some of the Spa Packages give the Sims a positive mood boost for days. Since I started sending my pregnant ladies to the spa, I am almost always able to pick at least one of the baby’s traits without having to read a pregnancy book or a fulfill a craving.
After Jamie’s Relaxing Swedish Massage, she bumped into her friend, Pauline Wan.
Pauline: Wow, Jamie, you have such a cute baby bump!
Jamie: Thanks, but I’m ready for this little one to come out. My back can’t take it anymore.
Pauline: The backaches are the worse! I made Hank massage me every night until Joshua was born.
Jamie: You look great, Pauline. I would have never guessed that you just had a baby.
Pauline: Woohoo is the best exercise, Jamie! I’ve been seeing this handyman named Clark. Let me tell you, he really does know how to use his tool.
Me: Oh no she didn’t!
Poor Talia. First she loses Isaac to Zelda Mae, and now she loses Clark to Pauline.
Jamie: I swear, Pauline, I don’t know how you have time to keep up with your men and take care of a newborn.
Pauline: Yeah, about that…I’ve been meaning to talk to you.
Jamie: What’s wrong?
Pauline: Well, don’t get me wrong, Joshua is great and all that, but I never planned on being a mother.
Jamie: Are you thinking about putting Joshua up for adoption?
Pauline: No, of course not. I just want to make sure I don’t get pregnant again. You’re a doctor. Surely, you have something you could give me.
Jamie: It’s called birth control, Pauline.
Me: It’s called keeping your legs closed, Pauline.
Pauline: Um, hello, I was on birth control. I got pregnant anyway. I must be very fertile. I was wondering if you had anything stronger.
Jamie: It’s interesting that you should ask. I have been working on something in the lab. I have a sample if you’d like to try.
Me: Run, Pauline, run.
Pauline: This is an awfully big pill.
Jamie: Sorry for the size. I’m still trying to find a way to make it smaller without having to reduce the number of nanobots.
Jamie: Nanobots. They are microscopic machines that will surround the ovum, preventing it from being fertilized.
Pauline: You’re going to put tiny little robots inside of me? What if I decide I want to get pregnant later?
Jamie: I’ll give you another pill that will dissolve the nanobots and they’ll pass through your system like any other waste.
Me: Are you for real?
Pauline: How do you know this is safe?
Jamie: I’ve run thousands of clinical trials.
Pauline: In humans?
Jamie: Um, only five of them were human, but I haven’t lost a single subject.
Pauline: What the heck? Here goes. *gulps*
Jamie: I’d like you to come home with me, Pauline.
Pauline: What for?
Jamie: There’s nothing to be alarmed about. I just want to observe you for a few hours to make sure there are no averse side effects.
Pauline: Side effects? You didn’t say anything about side effects.
Me: Nice knowing you, Pauline.
While Jamie was drugging up Pauline, her husband Connor was at the library studying how to be a good father.
Me: Connor, it’s refreshing to see a Frio man who wants to be a father.
Connor: I can’t wait for the baby to be born, especially if it’s a girl.
Me: I’m hoping for a girl too. The current baby population is very unbalanced. When you’re done, pass that baby book to Gwen.
Kudos to Cycl0n3 for stepping up to the plate!
Pauline: I’m tired of Judy Bunch and her puritanical crowd giving me the dirty eye all over town. Who died and made them the moral police? Not everybody wants to get married and have kids. I like to woohoo. Big deal. What goes on in my bedroom is none of their business.
Jamie: Pauline, I understand where you’re coming from. I used to think the same way, but then I fell for Connor. I’m head over heels. I hope you find that someday too.
Pauline: Where is your oh-so-fabulous husband, anyway?
Jamie: He’s at the library working on his latest book. Say, after we’re done eating, let’s play a game of chess. I want to see if your logic and reasoning skills were affected by the medicine. But before that, why don’t you clean the dishes?
Pauline: For what?
Jamie: So I can see if your motor skills have been affected. You could also dust the living room while you’re at it.
Me: Well played, Jamie. Okay, ladies, I have to be moving on,. I’ll see you next round.
Other SP Updates:
If Gunther is not careful, he’s going to get busted all the way down to Coffee Courier.
Good news for Tamara: She just got married!
Bad news for Tamara: She just got married to the new Town Casanova. And seriously, Shelby, Emma is your wife’s roommate and friend.That’s low, man.